"Who cares? Not me!" And I shed a grease tear

Challenge #6: 
1. Acquire Log, roughly torso size and no less than 15lbs.

2. Acquire 137 pennies.

3. With pennies in pockets, carry log on a three mile jog, preferably through untamed forest. Do not lose any pennies or you have to start over.

4. Crawl with log 220 yards. If your belly leaves the ground, start over. You can be creative here, such as tying a belt to the log to drag it. Belts may come in handy in the real race as well.

5. Find a Olympic or junior Olympic pool. Adorn log with zinc oxide, shades, whistle, and "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt and set at the end of your lane.

6. swim 30 lengths and dive for 137 pennies

‎7. Return home with log. At each staircase you encounter, put your feet on the third step, your hands below that on a landing and crank out ten push-ups--then compose two lines of poetry that rhyme on a pad of paper you have with you. I...f there are no stairs, compose at least twelve lines of rhyming poetry. Must be original.

8. Aggressively build large fort out of couch cushions and all of the bedding that you own.

9. Install log in couch fort, removing his lifeguard accouterments.

10. Prepare and consume 7 Eggo waffles and an entire package of center-cut bacon.

11. Memorize and repeat your poem for someone as they check for accuracy against your poem paper. Each error will cost you 25 push-ups, and you can't try the recitation again until those are complete.

12. Wake up log. Return him to where you found him. Bespeak fond words to him as you bid this loyal companion farewell.

13. Spend all of the 1.37 without going over or under, without donating to that little tray of pennies or saying"keep the change". Consume completely or completely destroy whatever you buy. That doesn't mean break it into smaller pieces--it means completely destroy. On the ashes to ashes level. Turning food into poo counts. So does burning. You are also free to haggle about the 1.37 but not with anyone you know.

14. Return to base.

15. Eat 7 Eggo waffles.

Complete!

The Poem says it all:

This morning I went for a jog.

A jog through a bog with a log.

This morning I went for a crawl.

A crawl in a squall near East Mall.

My logs still stand!
One big happy log family!

30 lengths in the pool,

my log dressed a'fool.

I dove to the bottom

for change not forgotten,

and surfaced with many a jewel.

Stupid with 'life guard log'

10 push ups feet on 3rd stair

Back home warm and dry 

I let out a sigh

"Its time to build a fort,"

I inform my cohort.

And we piled pillows sky-high.

Log and I in our fort reading the Bible

"Breakfast is here,"

I say with a cheer!

7 waffles to start,

Is bacon bad for the heart?

"Who cares? Not me!" And I shed a grease tear.

7 Eggo waffles and a package of bacon

Soon this will come to an end

I'll have to say 'farewell my wood friend.

For I'm off to the shop

to buy a gumdrop,

with only a dollar thirty seven to spend.

  

Mango - $1.37.  Consumed and 'destroyed'

Thank you Chris Cox for this challenge!
Give me YOUR best shot:  ahaas008@gmail.com

24 in 24

Challenge #5: Run the stairs in the UBC Thunderbird Olympic Rink 24 times in 24 hours.

Complete!

My Tally Sheet

My knees currently ice as I sit by my apartment's west-facing window absorbing the last few rays of a beautifully sunny day. I'm so happy to be finished with this challenge.

After a weekend of revisiting goals on Bowen Island with two amazing friends, Matt and Zoe, I decided that I would tackle my next challenge early Monday morning.

The clock struck 8am Monday and I was off!

The goal: Four sets of six laps before Tuesday at 8am.

Set One: Piece of cake - strong heart rate, negative splits, smile on my face!
Set Two: Two laps in - "FOOD NOW!" I inhaled a slice of pumpernickel with peanut butter and a Powerade.  Knocked out the last 4 laps.
Set Three: I pushed through six painful laps, grimacing often. I was finished for the day.

-Sleep-

"Okay," I thought, "I had until 8am Tuesday morning to complete the final six laps. OH WAIT! I have a dentist appointment at 8am on Tuesday morning!"
*expletives*

My alarm rang at 4:20am - it's on! I laced up my runners, bused to UBC and embarked upon the last leg of my journey at 5:30am. 

After only 10 steps my ego started screaming at me! "GIVE UP NOW!"

As Mr. Corker put it:
"My ego is that the little voice inside my head that tells me what I want to hear, not what I need to hear. It has said things in the past like “popular kids don’t put their hands up in class,” “no one can actually be that happy,” or “it’s ok to give up now.”

It is not okay to give up.

I was immediately in pain, but knew that I could either give up and make excuses or write to you about how I completed 24 laps of Thunderbird Arena in 24 hours!

 ...well actually it was twenty-three hours.

Thunderbird Arena - 6:45am Tuesday

Thank you Kavie Toor for this sadistic challenge!
Think you can top this?  Email me at ahaas008@gmail.com with your challenge!

Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow

Challenge #4:  Do line drills and at each line do 20 push ups.

"I am SO weak," I kept saying at the 30, 40, 50... 
Being that it was Superbowl Sunday I thought it only proper to do a football related challenge.  I geared up in my black shorts and yellow shirt jumped on the field and knocked out a smaller but telling challenge. I am weak.  I need to work on my upper body strength big time.  200 push ups gave me a hell of a lot more trouble than I expected.  Better beef up if expect to defeat death!

Sunday night we whipped up some delicious eats, cracked some brews and watched the atrocity that was the Superbowl...  My boys didn't quite cut it, but we still love the black and yellow!

... that is, until next year when the real champs, the New England Patriots reclaim the Lombardi Trophy!

Motivation

Challenge #3: Go for a run for an hour, and then run the same route back in under 45 minutes.

Complete!

This week's challenge was a lesson in motivation. One of the most difficult things for me is motivating myself to do and complete projects. After an amazing Saturday at Whistler with Conor Topley and Josh Wood I was blissfully wiped out! I slept in a little, made some good food for the week, and then saw that "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" was on TV... Do I HAVE to do a challenge today?!

Around mid-day I ran into Conor as I was slacking off (he lives across the hall) and he reminded me of my commitment by simply saying, "Haas, Don't NOT do a challenge today." I gave in to peer pressure and went for a jog.  Thanks Conor!

This challenge was logistically simple but physically taxing. A one hour jog from my front door had me doing loops in and around Stanley Park. Going out I felt pretty good. The late afternoon sun was melting into the horizon. English Bay was thick with dog walkers, hand-holding couples and families, young and old.  Everyone was out soaking in the rare vitamin D! I curled around the west side of Stanley Park, passed under the Lion's Gate Bridge and ventured into the trees. Those last 10 minutes were the worst! I just wanted to turn around but the minutes only seemed to slow down.

FINALLY, all 60 minutes had passed. I stretched out some tight muscles, looked at my watch - 45 minutes on the clock.  Ready? GO!

The sun set as I did my lap back around Beaver Lake and out to the seawall for my hasty return home. The wild river of Vancouverites had calmed to a trickle of folks enjoying a late night stroll, a local herb or a nuzzle with their partner on a quiet bench. I paid them little attention as my focus turned to deciphering which city lights belonged to the Burrard Bridge. I inched closer and closer - into the city, up Beach Street and eventually over the black body of water that my callused hands and I knew only too well from the days of rowing crew at UBC.

I crossed the finish line without a minute to spare! Home never looked so good! I gingerly made my way up the stairs to my apartment and into a hot shower. After mapping out my run on I found out I did a half marathon tonight! Just over 21km in 105 minutes! 

I know Conor won't always be around to kick me into gear, but now I know all it takes is that first step, and then I just can't stop!

Thank you Zoe Higgs for this challenge! Going to Boot Camp with you each week is a treat! Not sure how useful I'll be for tomorrow's class though...

Email your challenge ideas to ahaas008@gmail.com

The Beach

Challenge: Erect 4 logs on Wreck Beach.  

1) Logs must be from wreck beach

2) Logs must be fashioned to 10 ft in length (+/- 2 inch)
3) Logs must be planted ~4 feet deep
3) Your axe and measuring tape cannot leave the top of wreck beach stairs.
4) Challenge starts at 10pm the night of your choosing

Partially Completed.

As I walked down Wreck Beach stairs, I awkwardly angled my neck to shine my headlamp on my watch.  9:55pm Saturday night.  

The last time I ventured down these stairs at night I was headed to a bonfire party with a dozen other first years new to UBC.  Someone in front of me offered, "I heard there are 'beach people' who live down here and attack students!"  A girl a few steps back corrects, "I hear they climb into the trees and jump down on you!"

Funny how THESE are the thoughts that somehow find their way to the front of my brain.  I stop, listen, glance around at the darkness.  I seem to be alone - but that's exactly what 'they' want me to think...

I get down to the beach, wander up and down the beach looking for logs I could carry.  Everything is waterlogged, massive or buried.  I'm anticipating a long night and want to pitch my tent somewhere so that when I'm finished I can just crash.  

I head up a favorite running path that parallels the beach in hopes of finding some more manageable timber.  

I step over one pice that could work - still no 'home base' though.  Another couple hundred yards down the path I find where the beach people hang out on sunny days.  There is a whole network of patio-like areas that have been framed by big logs and filled with sand.  I pitched my tent on one and set to work.

I found a number of potential candidates, but being the dead of winter everything was wet and waterlogged.  Even the smallest of the batch was like wrestling an alligator through the soft muck.  Partially due to the weight, but partially due to my paranoia about the 'Beach People' I never lugged the logs up the stairs to cut them.  On this front I failed.  I did my best to make up for it though.  

After a few hours I erected 4 logs!  I think the karma of not cutting them to length came back to bite me, though.  I decided to dig down right in front of where the tent was set up - a nice totem of my work for the sunrise.  I thrust the shovel in and immediately knew I was in for a struggle.  The ebb and flow of tides, deposits of sediment coming down the cliffs from UBC and tangle of decaying weeds, branches and who knows what else made a thatch-work that reeked!  The putrid smell only got worse the deeper I went...  

Not more than 3' down I hit bottom.  Something hard ended my dig - a rock, a pipe, the casket of a flying beach creature victim?  It was deep enough.  I balanced one log in the hole, then a second and third.  The forth was the largest and would not stand up no matter what I did. So with one hand on the unbalanced log I kicked and dragged thatched sand-wads into the stinky pit.  The wet sand acted like concrete and soon the logs were stable!

I turned in early on Sunday morning.  I forced myself not to concentrate on the random cracks and rustles in the woods behind me.  This challenge tested my mind as well as my body.  There were countless times I thought I heard someone talking, something coming through the woods or from the water.  I had to trust that I was safe until proven otherwise.

A cold night gave way to a serene morning filled with a high tide, seals, geese and ducks!

My logs shrunk another couple of feet underwater, but put a smile on my face - those are my logs!

Despite erecting the logs I failed a key piece of the challenge - the stairs.  I packed my bag, tightened it up and headed out.  Another speed bump: The high tide had flooded my path!  I meandered my way south, the long way out, going up a second set of stairs.  I walked back up SW Marine to the top of THE Wreck Beach Stairs and got to it.  With the bag on, my goal was to hike the 400+ stairs once for each log I planted.  A half hour later I emerged at the top after set #4.  For good measure I threw in one last set.

So after skiing Whistler all day, erecting 4 logs, evading flying beach creatures and 5 laps on Wreck Beach stairs with a 30lb bag, a shower, eggs and coffee were terribly satisfying.

Thank you Josh Zukewich for a GREAT challenge!

Do you have a challenge for me?  Email me at ahaas008@gmail.com and give me your best shot!

1542; 20; 8:34 - 2:11

Challenge #1:  Lunge from my house across the Burrard Bridge, do twenty hill sprints up Hornby between Beach Ave and Pacific St and then run home in under 10 minutes.

Competed in 2:11!
--
I started out lunging North on Cornwall St. I passed/was passed many very confused people sitting at bus stop, biking by, jogging... walking.  I lunged 1542 times from my front door to the top of Hornby St.  Aside from the lactic acid, the amount of time it took was the worst.  Any distance is daunting when your lunging there!

Next I scoped out my hill - 2 blocks up hill and through one busy intersection.  I stashed my extra clothes at the bottom and started out.  After ten I was ready to give in.  I kept trying to find ways around "do twenty hill sprints."  There's no wiggle room. Dammit!  The sun burned through the clouds, I dug in and knocked out the last ten!

The last task was to run home as fast as possible - 10 minutes at most.  After 1542 lunges and 20 hill sprints my legs were D.E.A.D.  I ignored the pain, put on my timer and ran.  8:34 later - I was home. Phew...

Though this wasn't a terribly long distance the strain on my body was intense.  One thing is for sure, I hate lunges.

Thanks for the challenge Matt Corker!

Do you have a challenge for me?  Give me your best shot!
ahaas008@gmail.com

2010 Death Race Video

Check out last year's Death Race!  This should give you a good idea of what I'll be up to!
2010 Death Race Video   Password is 'run'